It's not ALL fun and games...
- Sep 9, 2015
- 3 min read
The past month or so of my life has felt like a complete whirlwind. I would wake up in the morning feeling anxious, spend the days wondering if I was forgetting something majorly important, and then lie in bed at night worrying about what my semester in Spain would be like. When it got down to my last few days at home, it felt as if there were so many things I meant to and wanted to do, but no longer had the time.
In short, I was constantly feeling overwhelmed.
It didn’t help that any time I would talk about the coming semester with someone, without fail, they’d say, “You’re going to have so much fun!” And it’s not that I didn’t believe them, or didn’t think it would be true. It just got frustrating to hear time and time again when internally, I was freaking out.
The day before my flight, when I finally was ready to put my belongings into a suitcase, I realized I didn’t have a suitcase to use. Everything we had at home was either falling apart or way too small. On top of this unexpected problem, I was upset that I hadn’t been able to see my grandma all summer. She lives in a nursing home and has Alzheimer’s, and I was terrified something would happen to her while I was away. After a good cry (sometimes you just gotta let it all out) I was able to relax a little. I went to visit my grandma with my mom, and was able to borrow luggage from my aunt (If you’re reading this- Thank you again!) And although it meant I didn’t get to spend as much time as I would have liked to say goodbye to friends, I felt much better at the end of the day.
Before I knew it, I was outside of security hugging my parents and oldest sister, still pretty nervous for the flights and everything to come after. On the way to Lisbon, I sat next to a man accompanied by his wife and mother. He told me they were on their way to Madrid where they would be hiking along part of the Camino de Santiago. I felt inspired. To be so motivated to walk so far for so long made my worries about studying abroad seem trivial. When we landed, I found myself hoping for their luck rather than wishing for my own.
I sat through the 2 hour layover in Lisbon combatting the urge to nod off. Through my sleepy memory, there are two moments that stick out the most to me. One was being able to somewhat communicate with one woman who sat next to me in the Terminal and spoke only Portuguese and French, two languages I know next to nothing about, give or take a few similar pieces of vocab. And the other, a kind woman letting me know that our gate had changed. The connection would have been much more stressful otherwise.
I slept most of the hour flight on the small plane to Seville, partially because I was exhausted and partially because I was too freaked out to want to be awake (I still can’t decide whether small planes or big planes make me more anxious.) After a mini-crisis of not being able to find my luggage and a short taxi ride to my host mother’s place, I was already feeling homesick on top of the jet lag. I took probably four or five naps and slept for twelve hours that night. I wish I could have appreciated more the triumph of arriving.
I’d be lying if I didn’t say my first few days here were pretty rough. But thankfully, everything has just gotten better and better. The more I explore the city, the more I fall in love with it. And the more people I meet -- whether it’s someone I can hardly communicate with, someone who is helping me out, or a new friend-- the happier and more fortunate I feel.
I don’t want this to discourage anyone thinking about studying abroad or travelling on their own in any way. It’s an incredible thing, and every person has a different experience which is part of what makes it so amazing. Just remember that while it is going to be a LOT of fun, you should be prepared to deal with a few bumps and bruises along the way. And when you dive right in, you’ll find yourself wondering why you ever had any doubts, fears, or hesitations at all.
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